Below are the 11 most recent journal entries recorded in Jesus Christ's LiveJournal:

Wednesday, February 25th, 2004
10:43 pm	So, all this "Passion Of Christ" rubbish, eh? I've not seen the film myself - can't see much point really. Imagine seeing a film about your life - it will probably be the most boring thing you could do. However, I've had a much more interesting life than you lot, if your journals are anything to go by. A film about going to the shops, boy or girl (or both) trouble, and ingrown toenails will hardly captivate an audience of millions, will it, eh? Anyway, I just got off my holidays. Yeah, it was a long break, but I've not had a rest in about 2000 years, so I thought it was time to cut myself some slack. I kicked back on the beach with my good friend Adolf Hitler. Don't jump to conclusions about him though - he's a decent bloke as long as you don't talk politics. Anyway, lots to do ... these miracles don't happen themselves! Toodle-pip. Current Mood: omnipotent (185 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 21st, 2000
2:54 pm	No Dead ... Just bored ... (52 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 14th, 2000
4:59 pm	Its come to my attention ...that some people think I shouldn't be so aggressive. So I've decided to turn a new leaf and spread only good among the world. (23 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, November 13th, 2000
2:37 pm	Hey up mates Hot dang, I broke my BB Gun. What a nightmare. This kid was really annoying me so I just threw the gun at his head and his head just burst open and sprayed blood all over the place. But the supid kids head bust my gun up good and proper. So I was really mad at him and hit him in the face a few times. I hate it when people break my stuff. But that was a few days ago now. I've calmed down a bit since. There was this fun fair on in the town center today so I went along to see what all the fuss was. There was this huge ferris wheel and people went really high up. I thought it would be really funny to stop the machine half-way through it's cycle so people got stuck at the top! It was so funny watching them all cry and shit. Then I went to the bar - well it was a van with loads of drinks. They only sold realyl cheap bear and stupid kiddie pop. So I turned it all in to water! Acidic water! That was the best! Watching people drink acidic water is so cool. I'd recommend it to anyone! (33 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, November 9th, 2000
4:55 pm	BB Guns are so cool! I got this BB Gun from town nd it rocks! I was on the front lawn all morning firing pellets at people. And those things have like an eye-radar on them because they always go in someones eye. Or at the back of the neck if they are running away like wimps. So I was there and this man walking a dog walked by so I shot him in the eye a few times and he was all shouting and crying and thrashing on the floor. I looked at him and just laughed because it was the best! Then the dog tried to attack me and so I shot the stupid dog in the eye and then picked it up by the back legs and threw it over the fence in to some garden where they were having a family BBQ. Boy, was that dog angry! And the smell of meat probably didn't help the mutt calm down. (10 Comments |Comment on this)
9:55 am	Holiday Report! Came back from holiday last night as you probably read. Sorry it was so late notice, but you know how women can be, right? We went skiing in the Alps, it was nice and that. Anyway, we had a giggle but she didn't want any so I just got dead upset as any diety would and cast her limp body to the pits of hell! Actually, she just 'tripped' off the top of the mountain. I could have saved her with my awesome God-powers, but I was busy tying my shoes up at the time so I didn't notice. Bah, eh? So I was skiing on my own in this big white expanse - almost like a desert - that is why I said I was in a desert in the last post (I wasn't thinking quite straight). Well, this boke in a red suit came up and tried to feed me bread and shit but I wasn't having any of it so I just told him to get stuffed. He went away after something like 40 days. Bloody hell, sales people are pure evil. Came back home to a huge pile of newspapers and sour milk. A.E. Gabrielle obviously forgot to cancel the papers and milk. I'll tan his hide later on the little snotrag. Why is it every time I go somewhere sick and diseased people keep touching me! I don't want to catch their horrible germs. Jesus Christ, who do they think I am?! I'm going off to town now to get some BB guns or something so I can muck about shooting cars and shit. Current Mood: refreshed (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 8th, 2000
7:53 pm	More Updates Later! I will be updating this gizmo later on. I just got back from 40 days and 40 nights in the desert with my old good pal. I'll tell you all about it tomorrow. I'm going to bed now. Night! Current Mood: tired (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 24th, 2000
10:03 am	Hi again chillblanes! Ahh, watched some TV last night. It was good but not very funny. I found The Royal Family to be funny, and Frank Skinner to be delightful. I went in the street after that and let the air out of parked cars tires. Hey - there's not much else to do! Some old man came out of his house had he was shouting at me and waving his walking stick and so I just stared at him with my super-lazer-vision and he wept like a newborn baby! It was the best. Then this gang of kids came up to me and started to "diss" me so I stood on the gang leaders head and they all ran off up the street crying like newborn babies! That was the best as well! Today I think I will just go back to bed because I downloaded some Sarah Michelle Gellar pictures from the Internet. See you later. Current Mood: satisfied (7 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, September 8th, 2000
4:53 pm	Weekend Get-Away I'm going on a weekend get-away to sun myself. I'm awfully pale and my beard is in need of grooming. So I'm popping to Safeways to get some odds and ends and then back home to lay in the bath. I sell my bath water to the pope as "holy water". Hehe - the fool. These religious types will buy anything. Current Mood: amused (13 Comments |Comment on this)
4:48 pm	Current Feelings I have terrible wind. I know a deity shouldn't have wind, but I do and it smells it high heaven (according to dad). Current Mood: sick (2 Comments |Comment on this)
2:07 pm	Hello! Hello there. I decided to get myself a Live Journal considering I would like people to know what I get up to as I wander around this mortal world. I have a lot of things to say, but no where to say them - that is until now. Now I can say what I want and when I want! Superb. I am glad that Dad made you lot. (1 Comment |Comment on this)